Walking Alongside Our Emotions: A Journey Beyond Labels
I've always been fascinated by how we experience our inner world. In my work as a therapist, and honestly, in my own personal journey, I've noticed how quickly we try to put neat labels on our feelings. "I'm anxious." "I'm sad." "I'm angry." While naming our emotions is helpful, I've discovered there's something deeply transformative about learning to sit with our feelings in a different way.
Let me share what I mean...
The other day, I noticed myself feeling what I immediately wanted to call "anxiety." But instead of just accepting that label, I took a moment to really be with what was happening inside me. I felt this tighteness in my chest. My thoughts were quickly spiral towards future predictions. My shoulders jaw had filled with tension. It was such a different experience from just saying "I'm anxious."
This is what I mean by observing rather than just identifying our emotions. It's like the difference between glancing at a photo of a garden and actually walking through it – feeling the breeze, smelling the flowers, hearing the rustle of leaves.
What I've Learned About Being with Emotions
Through my own journey and walking alongside my clients, I've discovered that when we create space to truly observe our emotions, something remarkable happens. We start to see that our feelings aren't who we are – they're more like clouds floating through the vast sky of our awareness.
This might sound abstract, but let me make it practical. The next time you're experiencing a strong emotion, try this with me:
Pause for a moment. Take a breath. Turn your attention inward with gentleness. Where do you feel this emotion in your body? Does it have a temperature? A texture? Does it move or stay still? There's no right or wrong answer – you're just getting to know your experience better.
What's beautiful about this approach is that it gives us breathing room. Instead of being swept away by our emotions or trying to push them aside, we can learn to be present with them. I've watched this transform not only my own relationship with difficult feelings but also the lives of many people I work with.
The Gifts of This Practice
When we learn to observe our emotions this way, we discover gifts we might not expect. We become less reactive because we're not immediately fused with every feeling that arises. We get better at communicating what's happening inside us because we're more familiar with our inner landscape. Most importantly, we develop more compassion for ourselves and others.
I remember working with someone who always labeled herself as "an angry person." As she learned to observe her anger rather than immediately identify with it, she discovered layers of hurt, fear, and even love underneath. Her relationship with herself – and others – began to shift.
A Gentle Invitation
If this resonates with you, I invite you to try this approach. Start small – maybe spend just a few minutes each day noticing what you're feeling without trying to change anything. It's like developing a friendship with your emotional self, getting to know it with curiosity and kindness.
Remember, this isn't about stopping the practice of naming emotions – that's still valuable. It's about enriching your relationship with your emotional world, adding depth and nuance to your inner experience.
Your Journey Matters
If you're finding this journey challenging or would like support in developing these skills, please know that you're not alone. At EWB Counseling, we're here to walk this path with you, helping you build a richer, more compassionate relationship with your emotional self.
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